Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
