check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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