If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
