i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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