You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
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Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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