so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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