You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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