Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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