They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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