This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
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And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
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Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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