YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize