What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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