dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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