I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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