I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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