Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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