dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
