Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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