so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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