I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
