i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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