God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize