Don't you send me to vm
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize