I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Randomize