Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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