No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
