She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize