my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
