Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
