god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
