life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
