felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize