Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races