Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.