I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.