everyone is single if you try hard enough
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself