no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do