He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.