Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.