Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
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I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
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Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation