That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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