We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
