1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
