Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
