Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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