please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize