So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
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On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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