Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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