is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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