Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
too bad you live with your parents still
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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