Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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