I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize