I'm so fucking centered right now
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't turn off my feet"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
