People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Found the puke drawer
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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