I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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