So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
