she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
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What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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